Black and White for Fall

I love a pretty table. I love it so much, in fact, that I literally hired a friend's daughter to come over and play with my twin toddlers just so that I could spend an hour taking our formal dining table from "official drop zone for tupperware, mismatched toddler socks and Amazon boxes" to "pretty table that nobody uses." Because you know what's prettier than a bunch of junk on a table? A bunch of pumpkins on a table.

This tablescape is pretty easy to recreate. I bought two real pumpkins and a dozen roses at Walmart. When those beauties were arranged on the table with a runner made of buffalo check scrapbook paper, my collection of faux pumpkins and gourds, new woven chargers from Target and my thrifted china, I suddenly want to sit down and have some pumpkin cheesecake or something. (Maybe I should hire her my babysitter for another hour so I can do that, too!)

Now that I have two miniature people who love nothing more than to grab and throw everything within reach, I have to be selective about the spaces I decorate. My decor is limited to the center of tables and the top half of my shelves. In fact, as soon as I finished decorating, my daughter immediately went to the dining table and ripped the edge of my scrapbook paper table runner. (It's a good thing she's so cute.)

I've never done a black and white color scheme for fall, and I'm surprised by how much I love it. The varied colors of the pumpkins, flowers and candles just pop off the table because of that strip of black and white buffalo check paper down the center. I bought a roll of this paper at Hobby Lobby one day because I've never met a buffalo check pattern I could resist, and it's so perfect for an easy, afforable, kid-proof table runner. I just use tape to secure it underneath the table. 

If you want it to look more Halloween, you could simply use traditional orange pumpkins and flowers. That would completely change the entire vibe, but I think it would still be a great look. 

Behind the table we have my favorite Wisteria shelving unit. Now that we have children this shelving unit is securely fastened to the wall and I only style the top two shelves. Those baskets of pillows stay there year round and thankfully the kids are not interested in playing with those. 

I don't think I've posted a photo of this room in a while, but that mirror is a spontaneous HomeGoods purchase that my husband did not agree with, but now he loves it. Those black and white pillows are brand new from Target, and the curtains are Ikea.The table and chairs are both secondhand.

(If you're interested in that lantern above the table, read my full DIY here.)

 I filled those top two shelves with things I already had - wooden candle bases, faux white pumpkins, dried gourds, a few roses and some greenery from our yard. I'm a big believer in shopping the house before buying more things. Luckily for me I've accumulated a decent collection of random objects to decorate my shelves, and I love rotating them out.

The greenery was so important. Before we added those pops of green, it was just a bunch of beige objects next to each other, and it was not a great look. Fresh plants always help!

And since this dining space opens to the formal living room, I brought some touches of black and white to that side of the room as well. The Hi pillow also says Bye on the back. It's very cute and looks good everywhere I put it, although my kids yanked the pom pom off immediately. (Tiny destroyers!)

That's my scarf on the table, pretending to be a throw blanket. When you don't have the blanket you want, check your scarf collection. You never know what might work. 

Full disclosure: I styled my coffee table for photos while the kids were napping and then immediately removed everything because you know I can't leave that stuff on the table when the twins are around! 

Regardless, it's a breath of fresh air to have a decorated table again. Never mind the chaos exploding from the playroom - at least this one spot of our house looks nice.

As always, I love to post on Instagram during the long breaks between my blog posts. Feel free to check in with us there if you're wondering what sort of shenanigans we're up to. I must say, 18 month old twins are excellent cardio!

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Making Our House Smarter, One Light at a Time

Update: Congrats to Stacey G., the winner of our Leviton Decora Smart giveaway!

I love our house to pieces, but it's not very smart. We don't have a "smart" thermostat or any smart appliances, light bulbs, home security systems, etc. We do, however, have the Amazon Echo and the Echo Dot, so when Leviton gave us the opportunity to try their Decora Smart light switches, plugs and dimmers that work in conjunction with the Echo, we jumped at the opportunity.  

Make sure to scroll to the bottom of this post to enter our giveaway - you could win some Decora Smart switches, dimmers and plugs to try in your own home!

My husband completely geeked out about the Decora Smart technology and its ability to allow us to adjust our lighting in our favorite rooms simply by saying a few commands to the Echo or tapping a few buttons on our iPhones. He's really into this type of thing even when it's not "smart" by today's definition (he's done all of our electrical and home audio wiring), so when you add sleek modern technology to the mix, it's even more exciting for him.

Our first step was to decide what rooms would really benefit from this smart technology. Did we really need smart switches in our formal living and dining rooms that don't get used very often? Nope. But we did think it would be pretty fantastic to be able to go hands-free in our most-used rooms in the house: the playroom, the den and the master bedroom.

All three rooms have different reasons why the smart technology is useful, so I'll walk through how the Decora Smart products have made our lives easier in each place.

First, the playroom. This is the room where we first worked with Leviton on the decorating challenge - remember that? I loved my office so much. It's changed to accommodate the kids, but it's still one of my favorite spots in the house.

Just to the bottom left of the G bookshelf, you can see our Decora Smart plug that makes our gold task lamp from the thrift store suddenly a product of the 21st century.

We have another Decora Smart plug hidden behind the changing table that allows us to turn on this bike lamp with our voices, as well. The two are connected so they come on at the same time when we want the lights on in the playroom.

The playroom was the perfect place to try the Decora Smart plugs with Wi Fi technology, which allow you to turn on anything that plugs in to the wall--in our case, two lamps-- using your voice. (We used the Decora Smart line with Wi Fi technology that works with Amazon Echo or Google Home, but Leviton also has Decora Smart products that work with the Apple HomeKit or Z-Wave Plus Technology.) We spend a ton of time in the playroom with the kids, and as you can imagine, twin toddlers are a handful. To be able to walk into a dark playroom at 6 a.m. with a squirmy toddler in your arms and simply say, "Alexa, turn on the playroom lights," is an amazing luxury. It falls in the category of "I never knew I needed this but now I really don't want to function without it" category right alongside back-up cameras in our cars. (Seriously, what did I do before I had a back-up camera in my SUV? Somehow I survived before I had that technology, but I'll never go back to that.) Plus, it's just cool.

We took a quick video on my phone to demonstrate. (Pardon the noisy toddlers.)


The den is our happy place, where we go at the end of long days to curl up on the sofa and watch movies. My husband wanted an ideal home theater experience, so he'd already installed various recessed and overhead lights with dimmers to allow us to go from regular mode to full-on "movie mode."

See those three recessed lights above our built-in shelves? We used a Decora Smart switch with a dimmer to allow us to adjust those lights through our phone and/or voice command.

Since the husband is the real movie geek around here, I had him demonstrate how he takes the den from regular mode into "movie mode." Please enjoy our lack of professional video skills and general goofiness/discomfort being on camera. :)


Lastly, we smartened up the lights and ceiling fan in our master bedroom. As I mentioned before, we have twin toddlers. That means sleep is sacred. I do not mess around with my sleeping situation, and I embrace anything that makes it easier to catch some extra Z's. Thanks to the infomercials of my youth, I have always dreamed of clapping my hands and having my lights turn off automatically without me getting out of bed. Now I can do that by simply asking my pal Alexa to turn on the lights. Alexa already wakes us up in the morning, tells us what's going on in the world and plays music for us, so why not turn on our lights? Smart technology is so cool, am I right?

In this room we used two Decora Smart switches - one with a dimmer and one without - so we could control the four recessed lights and the ceiling fan.


 And in case you're wondering, the app is very simple to use. If you'd rather control your lights with your phone instead of your voice, you can do it that way as well.


And now for the fun part: GIVEAWAY TIME!

Would you like to make your home smarter? We are teaming with Leviton to give away a set of Decora Smart switches (a regular switch, a dimmer switch and a plug) worth $135 so you can try them yourself.

How do you enter? Leave a comment on this Facebook post explaining what room you would choose for the Decora Smart technology, and a winner will be chosen at random. The contest is open until midnight on Friday, July 14. Good luck!

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Custom DIY Media Cabinet

After living in this house for four years, we've gotten to the point where we have the major projects completed and we're starting to look around for smaller upgrades, little improvements we can make to our existing stuff that ups our game a little bit. Case in point: the media cabinet in our den. It wasn't anything special; it was just a damaged cabinet we got for a great price in the "as is" section at Ikea that I'd gotten really good at ignoring.

It wasn't until I was watching a recent episode of The Weekender, an online home improvement video series from Lowe's, that it even occurred to me that we could just build our own media cabinet and make something so much better than what we already had. In episode 9 of season 2, they designed a sleek media storage cabinet that spanned the entire length of one wall in the client's living room, providing tons of functional storage below an equally stylish mantel that ran the full length of the wall. It was a different style than we needed for our den, which is much more traditional in its architectural details, but the tutorial gave us the basics we needed to understand the process and customize it to our own home.

The husband outdid himself on this media cabinet, am I right? It's even better than I envisioned when I sketched it out.

DIY media cabinet

Ahh, so pretty! But before I share a million photos of our new cabinet, let me start at the beginning.

When you're building a custom piece of furniture and can design anything you want, it's overwhelming. I started sketching out concepts, and I was all over the place. I didn't like any of my ideas and that was frustrating. What finally helped me land on the winning design was picking out something we already had to inspire me -- in this case, I decided that I would use the custom DIY photo frames we made for the den to provide direction for the media cabinet. I loved the mix of the raw wood with the sleek black frames, and the touch of white really brightened up the frames against our dark grey walls.

Here was my initial sketch:

This cabinet was designed to be much bigger than our previous cabinet, scaled to match the width of both the TV and the speakers on the side so that it would be visually balanced. The overall design is modern but not too modern because we softened the hard edges by adding the shaker cabinet doors and the cutest chubby bun feet. (Picture me holding these bun feet up in our local Lowe's and embarrassing my husband by singing "I like big buns and I cannot lie." It was magical.) I decided to go for the white/natural paint scheme because our entire den has a nice mix of white and natural wood textures, so I thought it would be right at home. The matte black pulls added the perfect tie-in to the black photo frames, TV and AV equipment. 

Once I finalized my design, I handed the baton to the husband and told him to make me a gorgeous cabinet. And because we have twin toddlers and busy work schedules right now, he did his best to squeeze in carpentry time on weekends, during naps and late at night.

We put some considerable thought into what wood to purchase. I had no idea there were so many different types of plywood. It's mind boggling when you're standing in that aisle trying to figure out what to buy. (It makes me grouchy, but my husband thinks the lumber aisle is just delightful.) This is a helpful resource for how to choose the right plywood for your project. I didn't really care about the wood that would be painted white so I let Scott figure that out, but I did pick the wood for the doors because I wanted the right tone for the wood grain to shine through.

The box is built with one 4x8 sheet 3/4 inch maple plywood along with one 2x4 sheet of oak plywood. He used the maple for the outside and the top shelves (the part that would eventually be painted white) because one side was already primed to help with the painting process. He used the oak plywood for the bottom shelves inside the cabinet doors.

The cabinet doors are made with 1/2 inch oak plywood, and he used 4 select pine appearance boards (1 inch by 2 inch by 8 feet). You need to add the trim so that you have a smooth, finished edge instead of seeing the layers of the plywood. The backing board is a 2x4 sheet of 1/4 inch luaun plywood.

The first step was to make all of the cuts using a table saw. 

Then he used his Kreg jig to create pocket holes to join the shelves to the box. If you know someone who wants to get serious about carpentry, my husband was raving that the Kreg jig is a must-have item. (Father's Day gift, anyone?)

Once he had the pocket holes, he applied wood glue and used his impact driver to drive screws in and attach the shelves to the box.

Slowly but surely, our media cabinet started to take shape. 

He used 1-inch L-brackets to connect the top piece to the rest of the box without having to have screw holes in the top of the board.

Next step? Trim! He used his miter saw to cut the pine board to size and attached it to the box with wood glue and finishing nails.

Once the trim was finished, he used wood filler to conceal the seams and nail holes. If you haven't worked with wood filler before, you simply plug the seams and holes, let it dry and then use sandpaper to smooth the surface before painting.

It was amazing how much more polished the cabinet was once he finished the trim and added the bun feet. This is when I started getting very excited. I'm his biggest cheerleader during these projects, ha!

Then it was time to make the cabinet doors. He measured the dimensions of each bottom opening in the cabinet for his cabinet faces and then ripped 2.5" strips of the same plywood to create the shaker details. 

Finally, it was time to paint! We really dislike painting, but he sucked it up and did a great job. He used a 4" foam roller to apply two coats of primer and one coat of white paint (left over from the trim and built-in cabinets in our den) to the box and one coat of semi gloss polyurethane to the doors. We also used the poly to stain the bun feet, and they ended up matching the doors really well even though they are different types of wood.

After attaching the cabinet pulls to each door, he started installing the cabinet doors. I wanted them to pull down because I thought that made more sense with the proportions of the doors. They are wider than they are tall, so I thought it would be weird for them swing open like normal doors. We used the same inset hinges that they used in that Weekender episode and they work really well. 

Side note: We will need to baby-proof this cabinet quickly because I can see the twins opening these doors over and over just like every other cabinet in our home!

Lastly, he attached the backing board with finishing nails and used the hole saw bit for his drill to add a 1.25" hole in the back of each upper compartment to allow for the cords to pass through.

Then we were finally ready to let our new cabinet shine in our favorite room in the house!

I am so pleased with how all of the cabinet's finishes feel right at home in our calm, cozy den. The warm of the wood doors really works with our accent chairs and travertine floors. Our previous media cabinet was a medium grey color that blended in with the walls, but this new white cabinet really pops and brightens up that side of the room.

Of course I had to put my feet up and test the view from my favorite spot on the sofa!

This cabinet definitely took some time and effort, but we are so pleased with the result. It's a huge upgrade over our old media cabinet, and it makes this room feel so much more custom and expensive. I'm so impressed with my husband's ever-growing repertoire of carpentry skills. I'm already scheming about what custom furniture he's going to build us next, and he has no idea!

Let's talk about The Weekender:
The Weekender is a Lowe's original series that shows you how five simple projects can transform a room in one weekend. It features super-talented home blogger Monica Mangin of East Coast Creative, and it's really a great resource. I love the online format because I can watch it whenever I want. They are shorter than regular home makeover TV shows, so it's easy to squeeze two or three episodes into my lunch break at work. The project ideas and tutorials are really smart and easy to follow. You can watch it on the Lowe's YouTube channel or Apple TV, Roku and Fire TV. (We're Apple TV people ourselves.) If you're an interior design junkie like me who lives for a good room makeover, you should check it out.

This post is sponsored by Lowe's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support this blog.

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How We Stretch a Dollar

If you've followed this blog for a while, you know we take pride in saving money. We hardly ever buy anything at full price. If you come to our house, we'll beam with pride as we tell you which pieces of our furniture and decor came from thrift stores and garage sales. We buy appliances and electronics from the as-is section without blinking an eye. We just love a good deal.

Some ways to save money are obvious, while others a little more crafty. I thought I'd list off some of our best cost-saving methods here on the blog because I like nothing more than helping others save a buck. Because you know what's better than saving money? Helping someone else save money too so that you have someone to high-five about it!

Let me start with the most important principle of saving money in the Grantham household:

Saving money requires hustle. Let's take the main way we save money, doing DIY projects. Does it take longer and require more effort for us to do things ourselves, like when my husband saved us thousands by installing the backyard turf himself? Absolutely. But sometimes it's worth it. And you know those extreme couponers we hear about? They have my utmost respect. That takes serious dedication and hustle to run down those grocery bargains.

Luckily for me and our family's bank account, my husband doesn't have a lazy bone in his body. He will always pick up a penny off the ground, if you know what I mean. He calls it "money efficiency." (Yes, I rolled my eyes when he told me that.)

These are some of his favorite hustle tactics to save us money:

Embrace reward and loyalty programs
We've been huge fans of the Southwest Airlines credit card for a long, long time. We put as many of our living costs on this credit card every month and watch our Rapid Rewards grow and grow. Our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow was a Companion Pass, which allows one person to fly for free when the other person is flying. Unfortunately we finally earned it right before I went on bed rest with the twins. UGH! But even still, we were able to use it for 4 free flights during the twins' first year of life.

The key to that strategy is that you want to be able to pay off your credit card balance each month or you might find yourself in credit card debt. If you can comfortably pay off your monthly expenses before being charged interest each month, consider putting them all on a credit card with rewards to earn some extra value while you spend.

Call your cable/phone/internet provider
 This is something my husband does every so often, and it fascinates me every single time. He calls our cable/phone provider as soon as they raise our rate and negotiates it back down to the promotional rate, which is always a savings of at least $30 per month. He will literally stay on the phone with them for more than an hour because you know how hard they make it. That's where the hustle factor comes in. I would probably give up and just pay more, but not him. And he always, always wins. If you're not getting your provider to budge, mention that you've researched their competitor's prices and you're more than willing to switch. That usually gets their attention! When you're talking about a standing monthly fee like internet, phone, cable, etc., that money saved really adds up.

Buy secondhand, but be smart about it
Remember when I said we love to buy from thrift stores, Craigslist and garage sales? We do! We have scored some major, major bargains that make our house look like a million bucks. A recent favorite? This Restoration Hardware chandelier cost us $400 on Craigslist (which is admittedly really steep for a Craigslist purchase by our normal standards), but it retails for more than $1,100 on RH's website and it is the crown jewel of our patio. I LOVE IT SO, SO MUCH. Hooray, Craigslist!

Our rule of thumb when buying secondhand is that we want it to be at least 50% off retail price. Exceptions might be made if it's a one of a kind vintage item, but for things like the West Elm office chair we bought two weeks ago, we Googled it first to make sure we were getting it for at least half price even though it was practically brand new in box. If somebody is selling an Ikea dresser for $150 that sells for $200 new in the store, we're passing.

Sell your stuff
Not only do we buy a lot of things on Craigslist and Facebook, but we make a point to recoup costs by selling stuff whenever we can. And when I say "we," I mean Scott. He is so good at this! He started purging things a couple months ago - a car seat here, an old iPhone there, my dusty elliptical - and not only have we gotten rid of tons of clutter, but we are $1,000+ richer than when he started back in January. That's literally $1,000 we wouldn't have if he wasn't willing to randomly meet people in parking lots and spend a few minutes posting our stuff in the Facebook marketplace.

One of his favorite things to do is buy stuff on Craigslist or Facebook for really cheap, use it for a little while and then sell it for either the same price or even more than he paid originally. He's done this many, many times with tools and electronics. He'll see something better pop up on Craigslist, and he'll quickly sell his old tool for a profit before going to buy the new one. He's like a Craigslist ninja.

Not interested in the Craigslist life? Perhaps you're a single woman who isn't too keen on meeting strangers to make the exchange. You can try some other selling tactics, such as selling your gently used clothes (Plato's Closet, Clothes Mentor, Kid 2 Kid, Once Upon a Child). I do this a lot for our entire family's clothing and then I donate the rest. Or you can do it the old fashioned way by having a garage sale.

This is pretty commonplace, but it often pays to bundle services from the same company to negotiate a better rate. Not only does this work well with cable, internet and phone providers (not to mention car/home/life insurance), but you can try it for household services, such as "sharing" a lawn maintenance service with your neighbors so they only have to come to your neighborhood once to do 2-4 lawns in one stop.

Research and shop around
It really pays to do your due diligence before you make a big purchase, especially if you know exactly what you need. The internet is an amazing tool for comparing prices on any item under the sun. We'll spend days or weeks researching an item before we purchase. Not only do we compare prices, but we read reviews and study the features very hard to make sure we're getting the best value out of whatever product we're planning to buy.

Side note: Those daily sale sights we love so much (I personally look at Zulily almost every day before bed) do not always have the best prices. If you put something in your cart on a flash sale site, google it before you make the purchase. Sometimes the actual manufacturer is selling it for that exact same price on its own website in the clearance section. Make sure your "flash sale" is really a good discount before you buy it!
Price match
Did you know there are many companies who will match their competitors' prices even if they don't advertise it? We've had success price matching at big hardware stores, electronics stores and even stores that specialize in baby gear. Most of the time we just look up the Amazon price on our phone, and if it's cheaper than what we're about to pay in store, we just show them the Amazon price and they'll match it. The main requirements are that it must be the exact same model number and it must include the shipping cost.

We really don't buy anything without searching for price comparison first, even when shopping in person. Your phone is always a resource. Just tonight, we were standing at Target about to buy a wagon for the twins when we looked up the same wagon on Amazon and noticed it was more affordable there. That little bit of knowledge saved us $30-$40, and when I got in the car I bought it from Amazon.


We are not fans of having a lot of different credit cards for rewards (we only have Southwest) but we do participate in loyalty programs. In fact, I just earned $10 from DSW today because of some recent purchases. If the loyalty program is free and you shop there a lot, what do you have to lose?

Never buy anything at Hobby Lobby or Costco without their customary 40% off a single item coupon. In fact, never buy anything from anywhere without Googling it first to see if it has a coupon! This is especially true for online purchases. All it takes is entering the "[store name] discount" into your search bar to see if you can get a percentage off or even just free shipping. That extra 30 seconds is well worth it. 

Save on skilled labor
My husband has a couple of his own rules when it comes to finding skilled labor for the right price that have served him well so far. When possible, he tries to find skilled professionals (roofers, contractors, plumbers, etc) that are not employed by big companies. He looks for small companies or even one-man shops that don't have the overhead of a big company because that is often reflected in the prices. He judges a company by its website - if it's too nice, he keeps looking! That may not work for everyone, but that's one factor in his decision. And he always takes the extra time to get more than one price for every project just to be 100% certain that he's getting a fair deal.

If you are willing to contribute to the labor of the project - the grunt work or demolition, for example - you can offer to work with the professionals to get a bigger discount. Not only do you save money, but you usually learn new skills while you help them out. He did this with our huge patio cover project. He hired a professional framer and roofer - individuals, not companies - and worked alongside them during the entire project, helping with whatever he could while they did the highly specialized work.

Buy your own materials
If you're doing a big home project, consider buying your own materials to make sure you're not paying a middle man to track them down. Buy your own shingles for a roofing project. Buy your own paint even if you've hired painters. That way they can't mark up the cost of materials and you ensure you're only paying for the labor.

One thing I want to add is that I do believe time is money, so with each of these options you have to weigh the value of your time spent versus the money saved. Sometimes it simply isn't worth it.

As you can see, we aren't extreme couponers. I tried couponing for groceries and toiletries once, and I was really bad at it. You have to play to your strengths. Rest assured that we are not rich folk - he's a teacher, and I work at a nonprofit - so every little dollar saved helps.  I was raised to celebrate saving money and shopping the sale rack, and I get a little adrenaline rush every time we score a great deal.

Now that we've shared our tips for saving money, what are yours? Do you have anything to add to the list? I'm always looking for new ways to pinch pennies!

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Reflections on Motherhood: My First Year as a Twin Mom

A month ago we celebrated the twins' first birthday, and I've been feeling reflective ever since. Not only is Mother's Day on the horizon, but we've been going over our IVF financial statements and marveling at the roller coaster process we went through to start a family. (Let me tell you, nothing removes the romance from motherhood like a spreadsheet of infertility expenses.) I've been feeling compelled to write down my thoughts on my first year of motherhood, and my hope is that my experience will be helpful and encouraging to other new moms or moms-to-be.

I'm going to bounce all over the place here, from infertility to comparison to embracing my postpartum body and other stuff in between, so please bear with me.

Embracing Rejection
Because I have been open about our infertility and the tough process we went through to have our twins, I've heard from many friends, acquaintances and even strangers who are walking a similar path. The internet has allowed me to be a sympathetic ear for these women, and it has been such a blessing for me personally.

Every time I share our story with others, I think about rejection. Specifically, I think about how poorly I handled rejection during our three year journey to start a family. Infertility is getting a big red NO stamped on your ovaries once a month. Your hopes go up every single month (even if you're trying to contain them), and then they come crashing down. It's hard. As a Christian, I knew what I was supposed to be feeling and I would nod in agreement when my friends would counsel me about the bigness of God's plan for our family. Yet I took those monthly rejections so personally, and they held so much power over my happiness.

Many times my big red N-O would coincide with a close friend or family member receiving a big green Y-E-S. It made our circumstances feel punitive, like God was kicking me while I was down. I remember praying, "I can handle You rejecting my prayers, but it hurts really bad when You rub it in!" And then I would immediately feel guilty for my selfish thoughts (after all, God never promised us a baby and certainly doesn't owe us anything) and the emotional roller coaster of those ongoing rejections would continue.

I couldn't see then what is so clear to me now: Each rejection was an integral piece of the story, a tiny part of the puzzle that eventually read Y-E-S when we got that positive blood test. Without those rejections, we would never have Hope or Evan -- and I can't imagine my life without Hope and Evan. They were worth every moment of heartbreak. "Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

To my friends who are struggling -- your joy is coming. I know it doesn't feel like it right now and my words sound really hollow, but when you're on the other side you'll have a new appreciation for your season of rejection. You'll be stronger for it.

Battling Comparison
The motherhood gig is hard, no doubt, And you know what makes it harder? Comparing your kid (or in my case, kids) to other kids. DON'T DO IT. But you will -- it's just so hard to avoid. What do you mean that kid is crawling before mine? Is my baby doomed to be a failure? Your 9 month old baby is speaking in sentences? Mine only drools. I'M A FAILURE AS A MOM. 

I have struggled with this time and time again in my first year of motherhood. Our daycare teachers would casually say, "So-and-so moved up to the next class because they're crawling already. Can you believe it? She's two months younger than your twins!" And then I'd come home all stressed, worried that I wasn't helping our twins learn to crawl fast enough. I'd Google things and wrack my brain about how to be a better mom who could magically teach her twins to crawl, and I'd come to the same conclusion every time: You're being ridiculous. Calm down and let your babies do their thing.

I know this will only get harder as they get older, but I did come up with something that calms me down when I'm panicking that my mothering skills aren't good enough. I'll call it our parenting mission statement, and it's a very simple phrase that embodies the values we want to instill in our kids: Work hard and be kind.

When I find myself getting tangled up in the minutia of parenting two infants (worrying about how I'll convince them to switch to sippy cups, how soon they'll walk, whether their bowel movements are up to snuff, etc.), I remind myself that the end goal is simply to raise two children who have kind hearts and understand the value of hard work. It refreshes my mindset as a mother and helps me enjoy the daily moments more because I'm focused on what they are doing instead of what they aren't doing. That is, until tomorrow when I'm suddenly worried because their pincer grasp is lacking. I'm a work in progress.

Escaping Isolation
One aspect of motherhood I was unprepared for was the isolation. Between the napping schedules and the early bedtimes, it is very difficult to have a social life. I clung to our babies' schedule like glue because I felt - and still feel - that the routine is the key to sanity when you have twin infants.

Still, I missed my friends.  I used to get together with my girlfriends on a regular basis, and that girl time has always been restorative for me. One year into motherhood and I would say my social circle has shrunken dramatically. I'm still trying to make it a priority, but it's hard to align schedules when babies are the boss. Thank goodness for Facetime, Skype, text messaging, phone chats and anything else that allows us to have important (and not so important) conversations from a distance. Because complaining about nipple cream or husband woes or what celebrity did what is frivolous and delightful, and we all need a little bit of that even if it's over the phone.

Downplaying Drama
The next time that one of the twins is teething and I feel like MY LIFE IS OVER AS I KNOW IT, please remind me that nothing is as dramatic as it feels. Every mom needs a "This too shall pass" sign posted above their kitchen sink to remind them that the tough stretches - teething, sickness, sleeping issues, washing one million bottle pieces - are temporary. When I'm in the throes of a bad phase, like we were a couple weeks ago when both babies were teething and showing signs of irrational toddler behavior, I desperately need this reminder. Instead of taking my own advice I usually feel really defeated by my current circumstances until the miraculous day when the babies return to normalcy and I suddenly think, "Meh, that wasn't so bad."

Emphasizing Self-Care
When the twins were about 8 months old, I was feeling like our new life had stabilized a little bit and I could take on additional tasks. I had been in survival mode for a while, eating whatever was convenient and not carving out time to exercise. This was around the same time that the twins were really getting into eating solid food, and I wanted our entire family to have healthier eating habits so they would be getting proper nutrition.

I had a desire to exercise, but I couldn't figure out what would work for me, which goes back to the isolation problem above. Leaving the house to go to the gym wasn't really an option, so I needed something I could do quickly at home. I saw a Facebook post from a fellow twin mom who had successfully regained her postpartum body (she looked amazing!) and was offering to help fellow mommies do the same using a nutrition plan and at-home workouts. She was a Beachbody coach. I signed up and threw myself into it wholeheartedly in December. (Note to self: December is a really hard month to start dieting.)

I saw encouraging results in my body as I got stronger and more fit, and I'm still going. I'm below my pre-pregnancy weight, but my body isn't the same. I don't think it will ever be the same, but that's OK. My ribs are wider. My waist is bigger. My "twin skin" remains and I'm trying to embrace it, but some days are better than others. Regardless of my appearance, it feels great to make some time for myself. My self esteem has improved. The best part of the Beachbody program is that I've completely reformed our family's eating habits, and that is going to have long-term benefits for all four of us. We're eating so much healthier than before, incorporating all sorts of fruits and vegetables to our meals and cooking much more at home instead of picking up takeout. I feel really good about what I'm feeding the twins. And have you seen them lately? They clearly aren't missing a meal!

I'm not a Beachbody coach so I hope this doesn't come across as a sales pitch. There is nothing in it for me; this is just me sharing something that has worked for me as a new mom who needs fast workouts I can do at home. If you do want to try it and you're looking for a coach, I would highly recommend my girl Emily. We have never even met in real life (she lives in the Northwest, but I feel like she's a friend and she's been a huge encouragement to me as I've struggled to establish a work/life/health balance as a new mom. She shared her grocery lists, her favorite Costco products (speaking my language!) and even a spreadsheet for meal planning. Those were super helpful resources for me when I was starting out. Now I have this whole community of women on the Beachbody app that I touch base with about my workouts, recipes, etc. We vent about how hard the workouts are and make fun of ourselves. It gives me the vibe of going to group exercise classes at the gym without actually going, which is the best I can do right now. On the app I can post food and selfie pics without annoying the rest of the my friends on social media who could care less. I don't know any of these women in real life but it's still fun because we all have the same struggles and insecurities.

Saving Sanity
I think most new moms, myself included, go through a process of figuring out what works for them - little systems and tricks and coping mechanisms that allow us to survive long days with an infant (or two). Looking back on our first year as parents, here are the things I think completely saved our sanity:

- Sleep training: I bought the Moms on Call book and started following its principles and schedules when the twins were five weeks old (2 weeks adjusted). It was insanely helpful. I was totally clueless, and it gives sample schedules for bedtime and daytime naps that set us up for success.

- Early, consistent bedtime: Our twins are in their cribs at 7 p.m. every night. I have friends who don't have a specific bedtime for their babies, or they have no bedtime for them at all, and I have no idea how they survive! Scott and I really value the adult time we can look forward to every single night after 7. It has been wonderful for our mental health and our marriage. Highly recommend!

- Schedule fun: I've been in a stretch for a while here where I feel drop dead exhausted on Monday morning. Why? Because I spend all day on Saturday and Sunday with the twins, and whenever they are napping, I try to be ultra productive. I'm either cleaning, working out, grocery shopping, doing laundry, etc. None of that counts as fun. It's exhausting. By the time Monday comes around, I'm mentally drained and physically wiped out. Aren't weekends supposed to make you feel refreshed? Now I'm trying to allot specific time for an activity I consider fun - lunch with girlfriends, solo shopping time, a pedicure, reading a book on the back porch. It can be anything that feels like a luxury. It's worth doing, even if it's just a fleeting moment. Mental health is important!

- Coffee: Prior to the twins I was not a coffee person. I was a Coke person. Within a week of coming home from the hospital, we had invested in a fancy Ninja coffee machine and were fueling ourselves with that liquid joy every morning. Coffee has revived more than one terribly sleepless morning at this house. You have to do what you have to do!

- Walk it out: I'm not sure if we did anything special to end up with children who love being in the stroller, but thank goodness they do. If we are feeling stir crazy, we load them up and go. We go for long walks. We take them shopping. I have these big canvas bags that I keep in the bottom of our stroller, and I use those with some hooks on my stroller handle to load up the stroller with groceries. They love being out and about, and the stroller has saved me from some seriously fussy meltdowns. When in doubt, take a walk.

I feel like I have blabbered on long enough, but I could seriously talk about this forever. What are your survival tricks? How do you find joy in the midst of motherhood struggles? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Some of the best motherhood advice I've read has been in the comments sections of my favorite blogs.  

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"Donut Grow Up" First Birthday Party for the Twins

The twins recently celebrated their first birthday, and to celebrate we threw them a fabulous donut-themed party with our nearest and dearest. I don't throw that many parties but when I do, I get really into it. I just can't help myself! I had so much fun planning this party for our babies, and I've been so excited to share all of the details with you.

The Theme
I have known all along that I wanted to throw a donut-themed party. Donuts are really trendy right now, but we have our own reasons why this is a special party idea for us. Our twins are IVF babies, and the first time we laid eyes on them was in this photo of our embryos from our fertility specialist. We joked that they looked like donuts. I had this dream that one was a boy and a girl (I was right!) and I used to doodle these blue and pink donuts long before we found out the gender of these babies. 

Not only does the donut theme have special meaning to us, but it's also gender neutral and it works for the time of day we wanted to have the party (11 a.m. - 1 p.m.), which was right in between the twins' naps. Can't have grumpy birthday babies, right?

The Invitations
I searched long and hard for donut invitations that worked for boy/girl twins, but most of them just seemed too girly for my taste. I finally decided to DIY the invitations so that I could get exactly what I wanted. 

Have you ever tried Creative Market? I hadn't used this website before the party, but it's really an amazing resource. I spent $3 to purchase these watercolor donuts, and I ended up getting so much use out of them. I would argue this is the most important $3 I spent on the entire party! For that $3 I got digital downloads of eps files with the donuts, which meant I could enlarge or shrink or repurpose the donuts however I wanted. I used them for the paper suite and decor (keep reading for that part).

Using the watercolor donuts as my jumping off point, I used Adobe Illustrator to create really fun, bright invitations that helped me set the color scheme for the entire party. Then I made matching thank you cards and even some donut stickers for the envelopes. (Did I mention I get carried away when I plan parties? ) I printed them with Vistaprint, and it was really cost effective for a custom invitation suite. 

The Decor
I wanted the party decor to be really fun and colorful, so I used the bright multicolored stripes from the invitations as my inspiration. Using crepe streamers from the Dollar Store, I added stripes as a festive "table cloth" for our food table and even jazzed up the glass doors that lead into the playroom. 

My original thought was that the twins would do their cake smash in front of the glass doors and the streamers would make a great backdrop for the photos, but we ended up doing the cakes outside. Still, the streamers looked so cute behind the panes of the french doors and really made our formal living room more youthful and festive for the party. Note to other parents of babies/toddlers who may want to imitate this idea: Don't do it too far in advance. Your babies will want nothing more than to tear all of your streamers down. I tried to do this weeks in advance, and I spent the next weeks trying to stop the twins from undoing all my hard work!

Another key party element were our inflatable donuts. I bought several donut-themed items from Oriental Trading, including the inflatable donuts we used above the doors and in the "nom nom" decor by the food display. 

I also bought a huge donut pool float and even some inflatable donut cup holders. The idea of me getting carried away while buying donut paraphernalia is a theme you'll see throughout this post. Guilty as charged. 

The watercolor donuts made another appearance by our fireplace, where I set up a casual photo booth area with my new Fujifilm Instax (a recent Craigslist purchase - so fun!) and some DIY donut glasses I made by cutting out the watercolor donuts and gluing them on stiff felt. I also made some donut glasses myself by just drawing on the stiffened white felt with markers. The donuts were glued on Dollar Store sunglasses, both kid and adult, after I popped out the tinted lenses. I bought that awesome script, cursive ONE balloon from the adorable Etsy shop Party Haus

We used the photos of our guests to make some guest book pages in the scrap book I've been keeping to document their first year of life. It turned out just like I imagined! Printing out the photos onsite is really a fun element for a party. We had an Instax at my best friend's 30th birthday party back in October and let me tell you, we had fun with that thing!

In the playroom, I used scrapbook paper and the panes of another french door to document the twins' monthly photos. I don't have a great photo of this part because the party itself was such a blur, but here's a photo from a week before the party. This is another decor element I was able to do ahead of time, and I plan to leave it up for a while because I enjoy seeing their baby pics so much!

You may have noticed with my "nom nom" and "onederful" displays that I'm definitely a fan of metallic letter balloons. What can I say -- I love both balloons and I love words (especially birthday puns) so letter balloons were a must. I bought them all from my normal source, Bargain Balloons. I didn't discover this until it was too late, but they even have a great selection of the scripted word balloons. I love the "yay" balloon -- imagine how many occasions you could use that for!

The rest of the balloons are from my existing collection and the Dollar Store. I strung them with fishing line along the deck in the backyard and then had some blown up with helium to decorate other spaces throughout the party. When in doubt, add balloons!

I made it my mission not to miss an opportunity to incorporate more donuts into the party decorations. Of course I had to use these donut Christmas ornaments, a special gift from my mom when we were pregnant with our "donuts," on the front door wreath.

And since I was going to label these cheap foam coolers from Walmart anyway, why not make all of the "O's" into donuts? It's obvious how much fun I had with this party theme.

One thing I couldn't resist was this sloth donut print I found in the Whistleburg shop on Etsy. I'm a sucker for sloths, and I loved the idea that I could hang it in the nursery after the party. It was perfect for the shelves in the dining room, along some newborn photos of the babies, a gift from my best friend wrapped in the cutest sprinkle wrapping paper, plus some very special donuts for the birthday twins!

I decorated the high chairs with streamers and pom pom garland. So easy, and so cute!

I found some donut wrapping paper that ended up being really useful. I used it to make our corn hole boards more party-specific, and I even wrapped the top of our old picnic table to make it a good surface for eating and coloring. That table is so worn out, so this was a really nice way for me to be able to use the table without being embarrassed about how it looks.

The Food
I knew I wanted to cater the party. I'm not that great at cooking, and I didn't want to have to stress about the food on top of everything else I had to do myself. I love DIY, but I also know when something it's my strength! I catered some yummy breakfast foods from our local grocery store including migas egg casserole, hashbrown casserole and a beautiful fruit tray. We have a great little donut shop that supplied a gorgeous and delicious selection of donuts for all of our guests, along with some special name donuts for the birthday twins. The donut shop also supplied the kolaches which were gone instantly. Probably should have bought more of those!

Much like a wedding, I was so busy chatting up our guests that I didn't get to eat. Every single donut was gone except the name donuts on the shelf, so at least I got to eat those after the party ended. 

For drinks we had mimosas, beer, sodas, Capri Sun and bottled water. We set most of them up outside in coolers except for the alcoholic stuff, which was in the kitchen where it was too high for the adventurous little kiddos to reach. You can see the cooler setup in this "aftermath" photo from the deck.

I did make the smash cakes myself. That was a bit of a disaster because it was really late the night before the party, and I kept messing up the ingredients because my brain was fried at that point. But then I remembered the kids weren't picky and had never even had cake before, so I fed them some crumbly little cakes that they thought were the best thing ever. The icing is Cool Whip, which has less sugar than normal icing but is very fun for a baby to play with, and isn't that the point?

The Activities
I really stressed about how to entertain our party guests. (This is the reason I don't throw that many parties - I always worry that people won't have fun and then I talk myself out of it!) Anyway, it was challenging because we were inviting people of all ages and life stages, including kids from 6 months old to 10 years old. I decided to just set up stations and play areas throughout the house and the backyard, and I hoped that people would find a spot to play that suited their family. 

In the backyard we had bouncy balls, inflatable donuts, corn hole, a teepee and a foamnasium. We also had a picnic table with crayons and donut-themed coloring pages. Inside we had the photo booth and the nursery, which was full of infant toys. In the driveway we had sidewalk chalk and bubbles, but we ended up moving the bubbles to the backyard. Almost everyone made their way to the backyard and hung out while their kids played together, so it was really easy. Thank goodness we finished our massive backyard renovation and artificial grass installation just in time! It was so satisfying to see our guests having a blast back there.

The Wardrobe
File our family's party wardrobe in the "Jordan got carried away with the donut theme" category. I'm not even mad about it -- we are now that family who coordinates party outfits. 

I wanted the twins to have coordinating outfits that fit the donut theme, and that was harder than I anticipated. Everything donut-y was pink and sprinkled. Evan is a little hoss, and he needed some manly donut pants! I found this Etsy shop, Little Teepee Designs, who had tiny pants in the most masculine donut fabric I'd ever seen. I reached out to the shop owner and explained that I really wanted to buy custom pants for my boy/girl twins. She didn't have any girly donut fabric onhand, but she was fabulous and quickly tracked some down for me. We worked together to design the pants with the striped cuffs to tie them together as a coordinating set, and they are just adorable. The fabric is incredibly comfortable, and I wish I had some of her leggings in my size. I can't recommend her enough. Thanks Alexis!!

I designed the twins' ONEDERFUL shirts myself, and then a good friend of mine used her Silhouette machine to print them on plain white shirts I bought at Children's Place. How cute is that little peplum halter top? Can't beat the price right now - $3.58!

I found my donut sweater - from a past season at Target - on Poshmark, and I am extremely proud of myself for finding a donut t-shirt that my husband would actually wear. We got him the tri-blend t-shirt, and it's super soft and fits perfectly. I'm planning to steal it for myself like I do with all of his best t-shirts!

I almost forgot the birthday crowns! My best friend and I made those with some of my old workout headbands and some felt. Hope's has some extra embellishment that I bought in the scrapbooking section at Michael's. She is in full headband/sock/shoe rebellion right now, so I was amazed that she tolerated the crown for the cake smash. Truly a birthday miracle!

The Favors
I don't have a picture of this, but each kid took home party favors in these cute sprinkled bags from Oriental Trading. The favors included a tub of PlayDoh (highly recommend this mega-pack of PlayDoh from Amazon - great variety of colors at a low price) and a baggie of donut cereal - Sprinkle Donut Crunch, to be exact. Fair warning: The cereal is addictive!

Well, that's a wrap on the twins' first birthday party. It was a lot of work to pull the party together, but the nice thing about twins is that you only have to throw one party! We love them so much, and celebrating them with our friends and family was such a treat. If I left out any party details or sources, don't hesitate to contact me with your questions.

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